Abuse has become so “normal” in our society, that even people that suffered abuse, don’t understand that within them everything changed. Their Mind, Body and dealing with emotions in a healthy manner, changed. In all my years of practice, this breaks my heart the most. People who are still struggling everyday with the consequences of what they went through as children, while being surrounded by an abusive society, that makes them blind to their suffering, and even uses their suffering to make a profit. Just heartbreaking.
So how can we change, what abuse changed in us?
First be honest with yourself about your vulnerability. Understand that your body, mind, and emotion have been altered by abuse. Yelling, screaming, putting you down, shutting you up, criticizing, beating you down physically, emotionally, and sexually is abusive. Trying to control you, is abusive. Not allowing you to have your own life, your own boundaries, and your own experiences, is abusive.
Second, don’t justify this behavior, because someone told you that they love you. No matter if its your parents, your spouse, your friends. People who truly love you, will never ever abuse you. Never. No matter how “bad” their day was.
Third go seek true help. Don’t use drugs, alcohol, or medicine to make you feel better, because you are only abusing yourself. Only learning to give yourself the love you deserve will change how you feel. Learning to respect yourself, be loving towards yourself and allow yourself to live a life you want and deserve. Sometimes this also means releasing friends and family.
For all who have been abused, or are being abused right now, I am so sorry, and I hope you choose a life of love, you deserve it.
Hila Naftali - www.hilanaftali.com